Opinions

I've come to the realization that you're never immune to the things people think about you. Sure you grow older and opinions begin to fade away, but they never disappear. Sometimes I look at my boyfriend. He's so clean and consercative Christian and I have a history. I had multiple boyfriends, I screwed around, I drank.  He wasn't involved in all that. How do I ever measure up to that kind of standard?  How do I undo what was done? Their family is all so conservative and I know they don't approve of certain things about me. Do I change that to become fully approved of? Do I pretend to hold up to this impossible standard? Sometimes I find the world of Christians to be incredibly stifling and judgemental. I'm a screw up, can't we all accept that!? But at the same time there's so much my kids don't know. They don't know the pain and misery I went through from not living the life I was supposed to. How do I ever tell them? Do I ever tell them? These are all questions that regularly go through my head and I continue to not have the answer to. See life is messy sometimes. We don't have the answers to everything all the time. We somehow survive it though and for the most part move forward. That's all we can really do. Make the best of it.