The Other Woman

Well it seems I have survived a weekend of responsibility and ilness. While the whole concept of a weekend away seems fun and relaxing that is hardly the spin my neurotic levels of anxiety decided to create for me. You see I have a problem. Sure there are plenty of experiences and growth periods that I have planned for the group but with that comes my anxiety. It seems to be at an extremely unhealthy level. I can go from zero to gastritis in about two days. While I continue to disapprove and hate this relationship I have with stress, I can't seem to let it go. I have some horrible addiction to it like a man with a manipulative and controlling woman. Yes, it seems my stress is a woman. They tend to be the emotional and irrational ones. She comes in while I'm happily planning something and begins to whisper horrible things in my ear. The million things I forgot to do, the various loopholes I left open for Scott to stab me in the back, the amount of money I continue to not have to make things happen. She continues to spin all these horrible thoughts until I'm trapped within my own mind stuck with a racing heart, excessive amounts of adrenaline, and a terrible feeling In my stomach of having eaten an entire boulder. Then sets in the gastritis, a horrible feeling of being insanely full, in pain, and hungry at the same time. This then leads to the stupid diet and antacids, which in turn makes me more stressed. I find myself in a viscous circle that all started from a thrilling and exciting idea of planning another event. I suppose the moral of the story is that all  moments of excitement are eventually followed by anxiety. The trick is to come prepared.