Seasons of Change

I've been so incredibly busy this year and so much has changed. I haven't a moment to breathe and write. The beginning of the year was devoted to helping take care of my Aunt Tina until the night that she passed. It's still something that regularly weighs on my heart. Seeing the pain she was in when she was such a godly and loving woman. How can that ever be ok? Seeing and hearing the pain she was in just applying lotion to her dried out skin. How will cancer ever be ok? The answer is, it wont. It wont ever be ok that people have suffered at this level. It wont ever be something that I can come to terms with no matter how many times I have to watch it. My life and many other lives have been permanently changed. Literally the same day that my aunt passed, I met the kids that I would begin to nanny. They have quickly and fully become family. They have changed my life for the better in a time when I desperately needed it. I lost an aunt who I loved and valued deeply. I became a mother to my cousin. I finally decided to leave a very toxic workplace. Then came the Ally's, my lifeline. I finally have a healthy work environment that I love and look forward to going back to. I have skipped my first English Camp this year. We moved it to the fall instead of spring and I thought it would be hard on me that Im not going but honestly I'm so glad I said no. I spent probably about 3 months in Russia already this year and I'm burnt out from hopping back and forth. I need to find a system that can support that habit without totally draining me. I was in Russia for the summer and while there were a lot of awesome moments, there were also a lot of hard moments. I think it really changed my mindset and relationship with Russia. I don't think things will continue to be the same. I have no issue with the current ministries that I have partnered with in the past but perhaps I am beginning to be called in a different direction. It terrifies me and excites me to see that God is continuing to work with Russia and to begin to wage war with an entire country and culture. Bring it on.