Well it's halfway through 2022 already. I can't believe it. I sometimes think about what I thought this year would hold and I can honestly say it's been none of it. Has it been a bad year? Not necessarily. Has it been a good year? Also no. It's been a chaotic neutral if anything. It has been difficult coming up with enough students, especially since I can no longer do dealings with Russians. They were a strong source of income. This war has been quite an experience. I've gotten hate for being a Russian sympathizer which is not accurate at all. I love the people there but I don't love the government that they are stuck under. Mostly I get responses from people asking why I like it there still and if I would be stupid enough to go back. The answer is still yes. I still like it there, I still want to go back. A calling is a calling and nothing that happens can magically change that. The war has devastated me. I've been at a loss for words most of the time it's happened and if people ask me about it too much, I will often want to just cry. I don't hate Russia for what's going on. I hate Putin. It's not the same thing. I feel loss. Loss in being able to go there. Loss in the lives of many Ukrainians and Russians. Loss in the way Russians are now treated. It's hard to watch and there's nothing I can do about it. I see a lot of similarities between my old church and this situation. There is one extremely toxic man who is hurting and destroying people. I see a board/EU/NATO who see exactly what's happening but are too spineless to ever actually do anything to stop it. There's too much effort put into appeasing the aggressor and no accountability is being seen at all. It's disgusting. I don't understand why I see so many men who are absolutely incapable of growing a pair. Why is it that women have had to step in and say that something is wrong? This makes no sense and is not how we were designed at all. I'm sick and tired of it. Be a man and stand up for what's right! Why on earth do I have a bigger pair than you!?
