The Electric Chair

The church. It continually amazes me the complexities of politics and drama that people deem acceptable. Sometimes I long for the days when I was still wide eyed and believing. The reality is that behind the curtain you see a small man controlling the contraption and pretending to be Oz. There is no wonderfully perfect pastor running things. There is no glamorous church. There is simply a mess of people trying to run an organization and often failing. When I was younger I watched church split after church split. I saw multiple leaders leave angry and never look back. I couldn't understand how this could be happening. How could there be so much betrayal of my pastor? Now I'm one of those leaders. I now work behind the curtain. I can't say I admire what I see. I am the events coordinator and have been successful in my endeavors. However, I still do not gain the support of my superiors. False promises to have my back flow out like lava; attractive to look at but painful to the touch. Those moments that I do have support aren't even true because they don't even agree with me. I have come to the point where most of the time I don't want to see anymore. Don't want to be involved. There has to be more somewhere else. Somewhere that I can still help the youth and not be continually undermined by the staff. I've been very serious about leaving the last year. Hoping to break free of my prison. However the youth, my kids, keep my butt and my heart glued to my electric chair.